


Tickets

by Reiizu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 11:43:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10099112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reiizu/pseuds/Reiizu
Summary: Iwaizumi is a bodyguard and he doesn't get paid enough for the shit he has to do.  From a prompt





	

**Author's Note:**

> AU in which i actually do my homework but like nah

It’s around one in the morning when Iwaizumi’s phone starts going off like crazy. It’s so loud his neighbour’s dog starts barking, and he blindly fumbles around his bedside table to get it. It takes him even longer to pick up.

“Iwa-chan!” The voice of his one and only, truly _beloved_ boss shrieks into his ear. “There’s a- there’s an _intruder in the house!_ ” His voice suddenly drops dramatically to a low whisper. 

Iwaizumi, still half asleep, manages a small noise of disinterest before falling back asleep with his phone pressed to his ear. 

Bad move. 

Because next thing he knows, Oikawa has hung up only to ring again, and this time his phone goes off loudly _right next to his ear._ Well, it wakes him up just fine. 

“You’re supposed to be my bodyguard, do something about this!” Oikawa hisses in his ear. 

“Oikawa it’s literally _one in the morning_ ,” Iwaizumi replies groggily. 

“I think they’ve got a weapon,” Oikawa says instead. “Oh my God, they’re probably big and buff and out to get me. Is it because I’m too pretty? Have they finally had enough of my gorgeousness? Did someone hire them to take out the competition?” 

“No, no and no,” Iwaizumi says, and at this point all he wants to do is go back to sleep. So he tries to persuade Oikawa to think otherwise. “Look, you’re a talented guy and whoever it is, is probably just your fan.” 

“So you mean… like a stalker?” Oikawa gasps. “Okay well… I’m pretty sure they just broke that really expensive vase I bought from Greece. That isn’t going to be easy to replace.” 

“Where are you right now?” Iwaizumi asks. 

“Hiding,” Oikawa answers. “In… the closet.” 

“Is there anything in there you can use to arm yourself?” 

“Not unless you call the TV remote a weapon… wait but I do have these killer pair of heels- oh my God they just entered the room,” Iwaizumi hears Oikawa’s breath hitch, and his voice tremble just slightly towards the end. “Iwa-chan, they’re here- they’re- Iwa-chan I’m scared, Haji-”

The line goes dead. 

Iwaizumi doesn’t even lock his door as he’s leaving. 

-x-  
 

He forgot his gloves, he realises halfway through the drive. It’s too late to go back, though. He has to get there in under ten minutes and even without turning back it was hard to make it in fifteen. 

When he pulls up at Oikawa’s apartment, all the lights are off. This already sets off warning bells in his mind, so he sneaks up the stairs with fists poised and ready to strike. As he nears the doors, his eyes sweep over the surroundings, checking for any suspicious activity. 

There’s none. Yet. 

Slowly, he extracts the keys from his back pocket and inserts it into the keyhole, unlocking the door without a sound. He pauses, waiting for any suspicious noises. 

There’s none, which makes his heart leap into his throat because god, what’d happen if the intruder had already done something to Oikawa? Suddenly, nothing really matters anymore because what good was sneaking around if something had already happened to your client? 

There’s no evidence that there was anyone else in the apartment. Yet. He makes his way to the bedroom. 

The door is closed. And locked, when tried. 

Iwaizumi’s heart is thudding loudly in his chest when he kicks down the door, yelling, “Oikawa?!”

The man himself is there, lying limply on the bed.

“Oh,” Iwaizumi hears himself saying. He stumbles to the bed, all too aware of the silence in the apartment which almost felt suffocating. It takes him a moment to regain his senses – he’s working, dammit. He presses his fingers to Oikawa’s wrist, then neck, checking for a pulse. 

“Hmm?” Oikawa groans, stirring. “Iwa-chan?” 

“A-are you okay?” Iwaizumi asks tentatively, grabbing Oikawa by the shoulders and turning him sideways, checking him for injuries.

 “Yup!” Oikawa chirps.

 Iwaizumi stares at Oikawa, long and hard. “What do you mean, ‘yup’? You called me up at one in the morning to tell me you had an intruder, I speed my way here probably breaking all the traffic laws and you just respond with ‘yup’?!”

 “Well, it turns out…” Oikawa says sheepishly, “That the intruder was… my cat?”

 “What the- Oikawa- holy-” Iwaizumi releases Oikawa and groans, exasperated. “Really. Jesus fuck Oikawa.”

 “Sorry! I really was scared,” Oikawa nods to himself. “I can tell you rushed here. You’re still in your pyjamas after all. So you’re a fan of Godzilla, huh?”

 Iwaizumi glares at Oikawa, then declares, irritated, “I’m going home!”

 “What?” Oikawa cries, launching himself at Iwaizumi, who was already halfway out the door. “I mean, it’s already kinda late so why don’t you just stay?”

 “No thanks. I didn’t lock my door properly.”

 “It’s one in the morning, I doubt anyone would rob you at this time,” Oikawa assures.

 “Oh, how nice of you to tell me now,” Iwaizumi says dryly.

 “Please,” Oikawa begs, clapping his hands together.

 Iwaizumi purposely makes a show of thinking, long and hard, but the answer had already been decided, ever since he got in that damn car.

 “Fine,” He grumbles, walking past Oikawa and climbing into his bed. He pulls the blanket closer to himself, leaving Oikawa out in the cold as revenge. Oikawa climbs in only a second later and throws an arm over Iwaizumi’s cocooned body.

 “What are you doing,” Iwaizumi hisses, voice dripping with venom.

 “Since you took the blanket and it’s cold tonight…” Oikawa trails off, a sneaky grin on his face.

 Iwaizumi sighs, “I swear I don’t get paid enough for this job.”

 “Do you want me to pay you more?” Oikawa hums, smiling sweetly at Iwaizumi. “Because I can. Name any price, anything that you want, and it’s yours.”

 Oikawa is looking at Iwaizumi with such sincerity, such determination that Iwaizumi finds himself reaching over and pinching Oikawa’s cheeks to hide his embarrassment. It makes the latter groan in pain.  “You fucking rich asshole. Don’t think I won’t kick your dick next time,” Iwaizumi says. “You better pay all the speeding tickets I’m going to get, okay?”

“Mmm,” Oikawa grins happily, wriggling to make himself comfier. He closes his eyes, breathing lightly. Eventually, Iwaizumi also gets pulled into the gentle lull of sleep. Just as he’s dozing off, he realises:

Oikawa doesn’t even have a cat.

**Author's Note:**

> for the "you called me in the middle of the night i literally broke like 20 traffic laws speeding over to your place in my pajamas and it turns out you thought your cat was an intruder and i s2g" prompt which I found on Tumblr ahaH


End file.
